*The show begins with a video package from the casting portion of BPCW Tough Enough documenting the grueling process of weeding down the pack of thousands to the select few that will be appearing on TV throughout the following months in hopes of obtaining one of two available developmental contracts into the BPCW! After being run ragged by RetirO through the frozen tundra of Minnesota and braving the interior tracks of the BPCW Training Facility. In addition to physical acumen, Foley, Wheeler, and Turco interviewed them to determine their readiness of mind. But, in the end, it came down to only thirteen, and those lucky thirteen will be revealed… TONIGHT!*
*The pyros hit and we are welcomed to the arena by the familiar voice of “The Grand Lizard of Wrestling” Danny Zucker who is standing in the ring thanking the fans who traveled deep into the heart of the enemy territory to witness the event that rocked the wrestling industry. A promo package is shown of the events leading up to, and occurring at Genesis which emanated live from the Rohring Lion’s Den in Monroe, MI last month. The video ends as we zoom out to a different room in which we see the Playboy’s watching the video.*
SP: *picking up the remote* “And now, through the magic of TiVo, we can see that humiliation in excruciating freakin’ detail! Oooh, let’s see that again! Let’s see that again. Let’s SEE that AGAIN!”
*Pistol rewinds to the footage of himself being eliminated from the 5 on 5 Battle Royal at last month’s PPV multiple times along with his sarcastic remarks. He looks to Ian Wolfe who is sitting in a chair. The rest of the Playboys follow suit, eager to hear what he has to say for himself after his accidental aid in eliminating Pistol from the match.*
SP: “Well, we’re waiting…”
IW: “I don’t see what you guys want from me. I already apologized. I mean, it’s not like it meant all that much. It was an exhibition in Michigan yo!”
SP: "You know what? It doesn’t mean anything to you because I think you lost your edge fool. I hardly ever see you wearing bling. You haven’t been drinking with the boys, and I haven’t seen a girl around you since that ho at the Chinese restaurant. And I can guarantee she’s been with more guys than there are Chang’s in a Chinese phone book! You need to start proving yourself around here. You need to prove yourself to me, you need to prove yourself to the boys” *the boys nod and then fake cough uttering the word ‘pussy’ amidst their faux coughing fit* “and most of all, you need to prove yourself to…” *Power’s-esque pause* “…yourself.”
IW: “Man, this is bullshit. You want to accuse me of flossing less often, okay. You want to accuse me of having my game a little off with da bitches, fine… You want me to prove myself to these chump stains? Not that I need to, but that’s no sweat either. Check you later, I’m out.”
*Wolfe stands up and storms out of the dressing room while the Playboys just stare out with Angle-esque stairs and Pistol shakes his head while Seitz coughs out one more “pussy!” under his breath before the camera fades elsewhere in the arena to C.E.O. Wheeler walking around the backstage area checking on people as he goes along, conversing in a jovial manner on his cell phone.*
CEO: “Yeah Turc… totally, it did go over huge… and the look on Rohr’s face when we showed up at UCW, I thought he was going to burst into flames the dude was so hot about it… oh, for sure… I dunno about the facilities though… hahahah….UCW? Who? Who? Anybody got 3 bucks on 'em? And the sweet thing is, you could play bingo too!….you bet…but it was great getting to see some of those boys up close and personal. It doesn’t make a difference in UCW, between you and I and BPCW, I have so much stuff going on, I’m trying to fit it all in… yeah… you bet… Vinnie was great… oh, and Sabu … yeah, you know it… there ain’t no Sabu’s like Sabu’s daddy… well, I hope that while I’m gone, you’ll make good use of Saturn… if RVD is any case, I’m sure that having him compete in one fed at a time will help out his focus… yeah, I think the fans are finally forgiving him for Moppy, poor son of a bitch… hehe… one time!…but seriously…oh, yeah, no kidding, we need as many fresh troops as possible over in the UCW… okay, well, I guess I’ll see you later then… yeah, I have to go attend to some business here at the Igloo… right… sounds good… Peace!”
*C.E.O. Wheeler arrives at the door of his office just as he gets off the phone and as the segment ends we see him open the door and greet the head trainer for Tough Enough and the patriarch of the BPCW, RetirO! They shake hands and sit down and the camera fades to a video package of Steven Black training for his match up with the Next Big Thing, Brock Lesnar. There are snippets of training film interspersed between dialogue from Black.*
SB: “I hold the world in my hands…Anything that I see can come to be… I am an unstoppable machine…*they pan to a picture of Brock and Black staring each other down*…This is what you train your entire life for…I have bled for this…I have sweat for this…I have prepared for a match like this since I started in this business…They say that Brock Lesnar is the Next Big Thing?… *scoffs*… Well, I’m the big thing…*pan around of Black shouting and flexing his muscles* …right NOW!… *cut to close up pan of his face, grimacing*…I believe I can stop him…And sometimes, that makes a person more dangerous than any opponent…”
*The package ends and we are transported to the ring where “The Red” by Chevelle is playing and from the curtain emerges the BPCW Tag Team Champions, the Big Red Machine: Kane and Nikolai Volkoff! They come down the ring and Volkoff grabs a microphone from Zucker at ringside…*
NV: “Eet eez certainly good to be back… back… home!” *the crowd pops massively at this heartfelt feeling of belonging welcoming our heros back to championship status, and to the Land of 10,000 lakes* “Vee must take our hats off to both Chris Benoit and Jeff Jarrett for vat we vill call one and one haff great matches. And to Scott Hall and Kevin Nash ve have our own little surprise in store for you, but dat vil wait. For now, ve must concentrate on ze matter at hand…our tag team titles!” *another massive pop for the Bolshevik Bandits as they both mount the turnbuckles showing off their gold* “So since ve ver feeling a bit, how do you say, saucy? Ve vould like to offer up a title shot at our belts so we can make the next PPV a memorable one. Seeing as how the only reason anyone else held these belts eez because ve vere gone, and ve have beaten everyone else. We vil let da boys decide who will attempt to break down the Iron Curtain of the Big Red Machine.”
*The first out on stage is the duo of Jon Seitz and Val Venis. They only make it halfway down the ramp before they are interrupted by Magnus and a battered Venom, still recovering from his bout with Brock Lesnar last month at Genesis. The two teams begin to argue as the fans laugh at their childish antics. Eventually a brawl breaks out between the two factions before either can issue a challenge to the Communist Comrades in the ring and they continue the fight through the crowd and into the backstage area. The camera follows them until they head into a separate room and then they cut back to the ring. The champions seem to be amused and lean against the ramp-side ropes and throw their hands up as if to ask, “anyone else?” A few moments of silence later we are given an answer as an unrecognized music hits and a rotund man emerges onto the stage area. As the camera zooms in to get a better look, the fans at home and in the arena are amazed to see the recognizable figure as the always outspoken Paul E. Heyman! Microphone in hand, he addresses a stunned audience.*
PH: “Well, well, well. It certainly is good to be back in the saddle, eh boys? And no one knows what it feels like better then the innovator of sports entertainment, the monarch of management, the man who single-handedly re-invigorated a dying breed of sports shlock into the vital entertaining program, which you are currently drooling over. Ahhhh.” *He soaks up the boos and seems to draw strength from them.* “But this isn’t about me, it’s about how I can once again service the wrestling world. I have put myself in a position to gain wealth and regain the credibility I once thrived upon. But I must say, this open challenge is like music to my very ears. Seriously boys, you have really outdone your stupid Russian asses this time. Not only have you opened the doors to my new clients, but you have been arrogant enough to forget the past. And those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it, so if you can just close your eyes…” *the Big Red Machine looks intently at the balding man onstage trying to figure him out refusing to shut their eyes* “well, come on now, it won’t work if you don’t shut your eyes! Think of it as a game.” *the duo again stand staunch in opposition to this ridiculous ploy and shake their heads at Heyman’s request.* “Well then, I’ll just do it for you.” *the house lights dim and three spots shine down on the Big Red Machine, as well as Paul Heyman.* “You see, if you remember back, way back, further, deeper and deeper, wait, too far. There, now you can see it. What is it you may ask? Why, it’s defeat, my vodka vohring friends!” *the two men in the ring look completely puzzled, well… as puzzled as a man in mask can look.* “Ohh, you don’t remember my clients? That’s too bad. Well, let’s see if we can refresh your memories.”
*All of a sudden the lights rise and standing behind the Big Red Machine is none other than Billy Gunn and the Big Show holding steel chairs poised to strike! The Communist Crusaders turn around only to be laid out cold with chair shots thrown in unison by the returning superstars! They stand there seething for a moment before continually decimating the fallen champions with their steel chairs. In the mean time Heyman has made his way down to the ring ending the calculated massacre and smiling broadly at the crowd before grabbing the hands of his two ‘clients’ and raising them in the air over the decimated bodies of Nikolai Volkoff and Kane. Heyman can be seen mouthing ‘ohh yeah!’ as he looks over his clients. They gloat for a bit, pose on the turnbuckles with the belts and then lay the belts across the chests of their apparent opponents at November to Remember before exiting to a deafening chorus of negativity from the crowd at the Igloo.*
*On a more positive vibe, a video is shown for the January release of BPCW: The Music, Volume Two, followed by another BPCW: Tough Enough hype promo for the segment later tonight before we head to the backstage area where RetirO is just wrapping up his conversation with C.E.O. Wheeler and getting up after reaching across the desk and shaking hands and exchanging pleasantries. As he exits he walks directly into what at first seems to be a wall but then is quickly revealed to be the hulking body of The Big Show!*
RO: “I thought I smelt bacon. How’s it going Paul…” *shifts look to Heyman* “…Paul.”
*Big Show grunts loudly and a dull pop is heard as he clamps his meat hook around the throat of RetirO. As he gasps to get free, Paul Heyman gets in front of him and looks him straight in the eye.*
PH: “I think what my client is trying to tell you, is that he and his associate will no longer be the subject of ridicule. Does he make himself clear?” *RetirO continues to struggle against the giant, but to no avail. He finally makes a weary affirmative nod and is released to gasp for breath.* “I’m glad we’ve come to an understanding.” *the trio continue on their journey as RetirO is attended to by a medic who helps him recover with an oxygen mask.*
*The camera fades to a similar package as earlier in the program, only this one is greated with a great roar of approval from the crowd as the Next Big Thing Brock Lesnar is seen doing the Brock Bounce™ and training as his theme song plays and the voice over begins.*
BL: “I have accomplished a lot in my life…an amateur championship…the youngest and last champion of the WWE…but this is where I will prove myself…where the newest and brightest superstars begin their careers…some may think it’s a game… but, it is here that I will etch my place in the annals of wrestling history…all an opponent is to the Next Big Thing is another rung in the ladder… a step in the stairway to becoming a legend… and Black is nothing but another son of a bitch in my way… but he’ll get what everyone else gets…F-5’d…game over.”
*The camera fades to the backstage area where we see Ian Wolfe walking along a corridor. Near the end he encounters the leader of the Flock: Raven. After a brief stare down they speak.*
IW: “What the hell do you want? You want to gloat? Because I am really not in the mood right now oh dark lord of the sith.”
RV: “My misguided friend, despite your glowing folly in Michigan, I have no desire to revel in victory, nor discuss such matters in any way. What I do wish is for you to be content with your station in life, and the current state of your being is nothing like it could be. Not as long as your acquaintances consist of those misguided miscreants. Come with me and I’ll set you free.”
IW: *looks stunned* “Uhh, how about no, Scott?” *Wolfe looks directly into the camera and does the Dr. Evil pinky before continuing on down the hall.*
*Elsewhere backstage, Nathan Hellstorm is standing by in the interview pit with John Imbriani.*
JI: “Basically, you just wanted a couple of minutes to comment on…”
NH: “Stuff it Johnny. Gimme that mic. As a member of the core roster of the BPCW, I just wanted to say that I am thoroughly embarrassed by the performance of a certain co-worker during the cross-promotional pay per view, Genesis. I think you all know who I am talking about. He is our so-called “Leader of the New School”, Sex Fiend. Now, I know you are all as embarrassed by his performance as I am.” *boos rain down on Hellstorm but as he continues to berate Sex Fiend, the man himself shows up in the distance behind Hellstorm in typical fashion and listens as he is continually berated moving slowly closer…* “I also have to say that if I were given the opportunity to face off with that chump stain Vinnie Vincent, I would have surely put him down, just like I’d put down that fraud quicker than white on rice, like stink on shit, like…”
SF: *chimes in* “…christ on a crutch?”
*Nathan jumps, startled before getting half of his face punched in by a non-chalant assault from Sex Fiend. The two brawl back and forth and have to be separated from one another by officials, but not before their yelling and shouting back and forth resulting in what appears to be an audible confirmation of their desire for a match!*
*The camera cuts from one brawl to another as we see Spice squaring off with Essa Rios’ interpreter in the Women’s Locker room, both women scantily clad! The action spills all around the locker room past other women getting their gear on and eventually spills in and out of the shower area dousing both women and sending the fans into a feeding frenzy. They continue to bludgeon each other with anything within reach with Spice actually grabbing the shower nozzle and attempting to wrap it around the Interpreter’s neck to choke her. As they spill out of the showers they are near the door to the locker room and the Interpreter regains her wits and gains the upper hand throwing Spice through it and into the hallway where the Playboys are sitting around watching the situation unfold hooting and whistling at the buxom brawlers. Just then Essa Rios sprints down the hallway from one direction and Frat Boy from the other as the Playboys finally get sick and enter their Locker room across the hall.*
*The two enemies continue to run at one another and leap in the air. At that point, using camera tricks stolen directly from Hollywood, the angle rotates around them Matrix style and you see a little smiling C.E.O. Wheeler in the corner of the screen pop up and say “you saw it here first.” The miny magnate disappears leaving the two superstars on the ground winded and their women breaking from their fight to attend to their fallen men. Spice is attending to Frat Boy as the Interpreter begins to yell at her uncontrollably in Spanish obviously enraged. She leaps on Spice and the boys finally get to their feet after regaining their wind and are able to fight for almost another whole minute before the officials can get over to their location from the previous brawl and attempt to put a stop to this one. Frat Boy gets free once and gets a couple of cheap shots in but they are finally separated.*
*The camera cuts and we are sent to yet another location which appears to be the gorilla pit where an eager C.E.O. Wheeler and RetirO are discussing things in anticipation of the announcements of the 13 lucky finalists right after a commercial break!*
*A short commercial airs for Tough Enough documenting the selection process. After the original 25 semifinalists were selected and were beginning to be whittled down, C.E.O. Wheeler, in a Puffy-esque move makes the decision that even narrowed down to 13, the crop is not good enough. CEO: “If the show is to be truly successful, we need to have people who are devoted to this.” So after auditioning hundreds more possible contestants from across the nation, they took the 13 finalist from the last time, and a new batch of 13 and have now whittled it down to 15. The screen flashes pictures of all 25 and then we head back to a live feed of the arena with C.E.O. Wheeler, Randall Turco, and RetirO in the ring. The Corporate theme is playing and the crowd is screaming in anticipation.*
CEO: “So after the long wait, and with no further adieu, I give you, the first ever cast of BPCW Tough Enough!” *he hands the microphone over to RetirO who begins to introduce the cast.*
RO: “It is my honor to introduce to you the fifteen contestants from which we will award two BPCW contracts… first, from…” *he goes through each name individually, while clips and details go up with them…(open e-mail of contestants)…* “here they are! The first ever V-fed cast of Tough Enough!”
*The crowd bursts out in cheers for this milestone in sports entertainment as the contestants are overwhelmed with their positive response. They wave to the fans for a couple more minutes before making their way up the ramp and into the backstage area. The camera’s follow them backstage and they all profusely thank Wheeler, Turco, and RetirO for the opportunity to compete for the chance to go to the dance. After this little mutual admiration society breaks up, the contestants are brought backstage to be introduced by Turco as Wheeler and RetirO walk off in another direction apparently embroiled in preparatory conversation for the launch of this new program.*
*Another BPCW: The Music commercial airs highlighting new tracks and new stars and the fans respond generously once again. We come back from commercial to see Ian Wolfe knocking on the C.E.O.’s door. After a couple of seconds, it opens and he is greeted Wheeler and RetirO (who appears to be readying to leave).*
CEO: “Come on in Ian, we were just wrapping up here.” *RetirO and the C.E.O. exchange pleasantries and the former leaves as Ian takes a seat.* “Now, what can I do for you?”
IW: “Well, it has been brought to my attention, by the other members of my stable that I don’t pull my weight around the BPCW, so I’m here to prove them wrong… by asking for a shot at Mark Bickler’s Great Lakes Title!” *the crowd ooh’s and there is a quick cut to the Playboys sitting next to a monitor in their locker room and appear outraged.* “You see, they seem to think I’m the pussy since I cost our *does finger quotations* fearless leader his little face off with The Flock last month.”
CEO: “Well, I would say that would make for some pretty good television. Why don’t we ask the fans? *turns to the camera* What do you think? Should we give Wolfe a chance to prove himself? *the fans seem to agree as obnoxiously loud cheering is piped in. The camera cuts to the Playboys who are booing and making quieting gestures.* Well, *extends hand and shakes* it appears as though we have a Great Lakes Title shot added to the card.”
*Another cut to the back reveals the Playboys, extremely pissed at the announcement. We cut back to the C.E.O.’s room where we see a smiling Ian Wolfe staring directly into the camera.*
IW: “Who’s the pussy now boys?”
*After a quick cut to the back, with Bickler and Seitz staring at each other pointing, they get angry looks on their faces…*
MB: “Man, I ain’t no pussy!”
JS: “Yeah! I ain’t no pussy neither!”
*The crowd laughs hysterically at this throwback remark, but are quickly silenced as we cut to another location backstage where we see the crumpled form of RetirO lying on the ground, but before we can get a good look music comes over the loudspeaker and out come Icon 2000 with a huge grin on his face. There is a cut to the backstage where RetirO and now a medic are seen. Rictor explodes onto the scene.*
RT: “What the hell happened here?”
*The medic explains that he just found him like he is and didn’t know, but is quickly interrupted by the familiar sound of Icon 2000’s voice.*
I2K: “Rictor, Rictor, Rictor, *in mocking tone* what happened here? *gets an angry scowl on his face and gets serious* You know damn well what happened. I’ve been trying to get a rematch, but you just won’t give it to me. Now, I thought to myself, why wouldn’t he give me a rematch? Is it because he knows that he got away on me getting cheated, not once, but twice! If the refs in this federation weren’t so old and blind, I would have said it was stupidity. No, this is a simple case of discrimination; discrimination against greatness. It could be that you’re all simply angry at your worthless station in life, or maybe the fact that you will never wear championship gold around your waist, but that’s besides the point. Now, I know not everyone sees eye to eye with me. The fans, my peers, the internet, they all seem to come up a little short. Now that could be that I’m head and foot above the rest, but that’s besides the point. *boos* The fact of the matter is that I made the Midwest Title; not, Rictor and the Icon, just the Icon. And I can tell you right now that as long as I am kept away from the World Heavyweight title, there is no way that the title has been made yet, and without me, it never will. My point is that despite your discrimination I’m going to win the Heavyweight Title…not for you ungrateful fans, not for the federation, not for a spot in the annals of history, no. I’m going to win that title… for me.”
*At that point, as it has been the fashion for this free-for-all, another brawl erupts as Rictor can take no more and without even waiting for his music to hit, he rushes down the ramp and begins to wail on Icon 2000. The two fight back and forth until dragged apart by a cadre of referees and officials. Rictor manages to call for a microphone, and speaks.*
RT: “You want to make this title? You want to make this title, you sick son of a bitch? Well then lets make it just like WE made the Midwest Title… with Ladders!”
*Before I2K can grab a mic, Rictor has broken free of his group of peacekeepers and again attacked him. He gains upper hand, knocking his enemy out of the ring and then posing with his title on the turnbuckle. A seething Icon 2000 backs up a ramp holding his head and makes a couple of faux motions towards the ring, but decides against it when he hears the fans cheer the moves. We fade to black and are left with the image of Rictor shouting, perched on the top turnbuckle.*
END SHOW
===========================================
BPCW November 2 Remember 2002 Card
Intergender Tag Team Match
Essa Rios/The Interpreter vs. Frat Boy/Spice
BPCW Great Lakes Title Match
Ian Wolfe vs. "Big Daddy" Mark Bickler (c)
Leader of the New School Challenge
Nathan Hellstorm vs. Sex Fiend
BPCW Tag Team Title Match
The Big Show/Billy Gunn w/Paul Heyman vs. The Big Red Machine (c)
Special Challenge Match
Steven Black vs. Brock Lesnar
Japanese Death Match
Sex Pistol vs. Raven
BPCW Heavyweight Championship Match
Icon 2000 vs. Rictor (c)
*The pyros hit and we are welcomed to the arena by the familiar voice of “The Grand Lizard of Wrestling” Danny Zucker who is standing in the ring thanking the fans who traveled deep into the heart of the enemy territory to witness the event that rocked the wrestling industry. A promo package is shown of the events leading up to, and occurring at Genesis which emanated live from the Rohring Lion’s Den in Monroe, MI last month. The video ends as we zoom out to a different room in which we see the Playboy’s watching the video.*
SP: *picking up the remote* “And now, through the magic of TiVo, we can see that humiliation in excruciating freakin’ detail! Oooh, let’s see that again! Let’s see that again. Let’s SEE that AGAIN!”
*Pistol rewinds to the footage of himself being eliminated from the 5 on 5 Battle Royal at last month’s PPV multiple times along with his sarcastic remarks. He looks to Ian Wolfe who is sitting in a chair. The rest of the Playboys follow suit, eager to hear what he has to say for himself after his accidental aid in eliminating Pistol from the match.*
SP: “Well, we’re waiting…”
IW: “I don’t see what you guys want from me. I already apologized. I mean, it’s not like it meant all that much. It was an exhibition in Michigan yo!”
SP: "You know what? It doesn’t mean anything to you because I think you lost your edge fool. I hardly ever see you wearing bling. You haven’t been drinking with the boys, and I haven’t seen a girl around you since that ho at the Chinese restaurant. And I can guarantee she’s been with more guys than there are Chang’s in a Chinese phone book! You need to start proving yourself around here. You need to prove yourself to me, you need to prove yourself to the boys” *the boys nod and then fake cough uttering the word ‘pussy’ amidst their faux coughing fit* “and most of all, you need to prove yourself to…” *Power’s-esque pause* “…yourself.”
IW: “Man, this is bullshit. You want to accuse me of flossing less often, okay. You want to accuse me of having my game a little off with da bitches, fine… You want me to prove myself to these chump stains? Not that I need to, but that’s no sweat either. Check you later, I’m out.”
*Wolfe stands up and storms out of the dressing room while the Playboys just stare out with Angle-esque stairs and Pistol shakes his head while Seitz coughs out one more “pussy!” under his breath before the camera fades elsewhere in the arena to C.E.O. Wheeler walking around the backstage area checking on people as he goes along, conversing in a jovial manner on his cell phone.*
CEO: “Yeah Turc… totally, it did go over huge… and the look on Rohr’s face when we showed up at UCW, I thought he was going to burst into flames the dude was so hot about it… oh, for sure… I dunno about the facilities though… hahahah….UCW? Who? Who? Anybody got 3 bucks on 'em? And the sweet thing is, you could play bingo too!….you bet…but it was great getting to see some of those boys up close and personal. It doesn’t make a difference in UCW, between you and I and BPCW, I have so much stuff going on, I’m trying to fit it all in… yeah… you bet… Vinnie was great… oh, and Sabu … yeah, you know it… there ain’t no Sabu’s like Sabu’s daddy… well, I hope that while I’m gone, you’ll make good use of Saturn… if RVD is any case, I’m sure that having him compete in one fed at a time will help out his focus… yeah, I think the fans are finally forgiving him for Moppy, poor son of a bitch… hehe… one time!…but seriously…oh, yeah, no kidding, we need as many fresh troops as possible over in the UCW… okay, well, I guess I’ll see you later then… yeah, I have to go attend to some business here at the Igloo… right… sounds good… Peace!”
*C.E.O. Wheeler arrives at the door of his office just as he gets off the phone and as the segment ends we see him open the door and greet the head trainer for Tough Enough and the patriarch of the BPCW, RetirO! They shake hands and sit down and the camera fades to a video package of Steven Black training for his match up with the Next Big Thing, Brock Lesnar. There are snippets of training film interspersed between dialogue from Black.*
SB: “I hold the world in my hands…Anything that I see can come to be… I am an unstoppable machine…*they pan to a picture of Brock and Black staring each other down*…This is what you train your entire life for…I have bled for this…I have sweat for this…I have prepared for a match like this since I started in this business…They say that Brock Lesnar is the Next Big Thing?… *scoffs*… Well, I’m the big thing…*pan around of Black shouting and flexing his muscles* …right NOW!… *cut to close up pan of his face, grimacing*…I believe I can stop him…And sometimes, that makes a person more dangerous than any opponent…”
*The package ends and we are transported to the ring where “The Red” by Chevelle is playing and from the curtain emerges the BPCW Tag Team Champions, the Big Red Machine: Kane and Nikolai Volkoff! They come down the ring and Volkoff grabs a microphone from Zucker at ringside…*
NV: “Eet eez certainly good to be back… back… home!” *the crowd pops massively at this heartfelt feeling of belonging welcoming our heros back to championship status, and to the Land of 10,000 lakes* “Vee must take our hats off to both Chris Benoit and Jeff Jarrett for vat we vill call one and one haff great matches. And to Scott Hall and Kevin Nash ve have our own little surprise in store for you, but dat vil wait. For now, ve must concentrate on ze matter at hand…our tag team titles!” *another massive pop for the Bolshevik Bandits as they both mount the turnbuckles showing off their gold* “So since ve ver feeling a bit, how do you say, saucy? Ve vould like to offer up a title shot at our belts so we can make the next PPV a memorable one. Seeing as how the only reason anyone else held these belts eez because ve vere gone, and ve have beaten everyone else. We vil let da boys decide who will attempt to break down the Iron Curtain of the Big Red Machine.”
*The first out on stage is the duo of Jon Seitz and Val Venis. They only make it halfway down the ramp before they are interrupted by Magnus and a battered Venom, still recovering from his bout with Brock Lesnar last month at Genesis. The two teams begin to argue as the fans laugh at their childish antics. Eventually a brawl breaks out between the two factions before either can issue a challenge to the Communist Comrades in the ring and they continue the fight through the crowd and into the backstage area. The camera follows them until they head into a separate room and then they cut back to the ring. The champions seem to be amused and lean against the ramp-side ropes and throw their hands up as if to ask, “anyone else?” A few moments of silence later we are given an answer as an unrecognized music hits and a rotund man emerges onto the stage area. As the camera zooms in to get a better look, the fans at home and in the arena are amazed to see the recognizable figure as the always outspoken Paul E. Heyman! Microphone in hand, he addresses a stunned audience.*
PH: “Well, well, well. It certainly is good to be back in the saddle, eh boys? And no one knows what it feels like better then the innovator of sports entertainment, the monarch of management, the man who single-handedly re-invigorated a dying breed of sports shlock into the vital entertaining program, which you are currently drooling over. Ahhhh.” *He soaks up the boos and seems to draw strength from them.* “But this isn’t about me, it’s about how I can once again service the wrestling world. I have put myself in a position to gain wealth and regain the credibility I once thrived upon. But I must say, this open challenge is like music to my very ears. Seriously boys, you have really outdone your stupid Russian asses this time. Not only have you opened the doors to my new clients, but you have been arrogant enough to forget the past. And those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it, so if you can just close your eyes…” *the Big Red Machine looks intently at the balding man onstage trying to figure him out refusing to shut their eyes* “well, come on now, it won’t work if you don’t shut your eyes! Think of it as a game.” *the duo again stand staunch in opposition to this ridiculous ploy and shake their heads at Heyman’s request.* “Well then, I’ll just do it for you.” *the house lights dim and three spots shine down on the Big Red Machine, as well as Paul Heyman.* “You see, if you remember back, way back, further, deeper and deeper, wait, too far. There, now you can see it. What is it you may ask? Why, it’s defeat, my vodka vohring friends!” *the two men in the ring look completely puzzled, well… as puzzled as a man in mask can look.* “Ohh, you don’t remember my clients? That’s too bad. Well, let’s see if we can refresh your memories.”
*All of a sudden the lights rise and standing behind the Big Red Machine is none other than Billy Gunn and the Big Show holding steel chairs poised to strike! The Communist Crusaders turn around only to be laid out cold with chair shots thrown in unison by the returning superstars! They stand there seething for a moment before continually decimating the fallen champions with their steel chairs. In the mean time Heyman has made his way down to the ring ending the calculated massacre and smiling broadly at the crowd before grabbing the hands of his two ‘clients’ and raising them in the air over the decimated bodies of Nikolai Volkoff and Kane. Heyman can be seen mouthing ‘ohh yeah!’ as he looks over his clients. They gloat for a bit, pose on the turnbuckles with the belts and then lay the belts across the chests of their apparent opponents at November to Remember before exiting to a deafening chorus of negativity from the crowd at the Igloo.*
*On a more positive vibe, a video is shown for the January release of BPCW: The Music, Volume Two, followed by another BPCW: Tough Enough hype promo for the segment later tonight before we head to the backstage area where RetirO is just wrapping up his conversation with C.E.O. Wheeler and getting up after reaching across the desk and shaking hands and exchanging pleasantries. As he exits he walks directly into what at first seems to be a wall but then is quickly revealed to be the hulking body of The Big Show!*
RO: “I thought I smelt bacon. How’s it going Paul…” *shifts look to Heyman* “…Paul.”
*Big Show grunts loudly and a dull pop is heard as he clamps his meat hook around the throat of RetirO. As he gasps to get free, Paul Heyman gets in front of him and looks him straight in the eye.*
PH: “I think what my client is trying to tell you, is that he and his associate will no longer be the subject of ridicule. Does he make himself clear?” *RetirO continues to struggle against the giant, but to no avail. He finally makes a weary affirmative nod and is released to gasp for breath.* “I’m glad we’ve come to an understanding.” *the trio continue on their journey as RetirO is attended to by a medic who helps him recover with an oxygen mask.*
*The camera fades to a similar package as earlier in the program, only this one is greated with a great roar of approval from the crowd as the Next Big Thing Brock Lesnar is seen doing the Brock Bounce™ and training as his theme song plays and the voice over begins.*
BL: “I have accomplished a lot in my life…an amateur championship…the youngest and last champion of the WWE…but this is where I will prove myself…where the newest and brightest superstars begin their careers…some may think it’s a game… but, it is here that I will etch my place in the annals of wrestling history…all an opponent is to the Next Big Thing is another rung in the ladder… a step in the stairway to becoming a legend… and Black is nothing but another son of a bitch in my way… but he’ll get what everyone else gets…F-5’d…game over.”
*The camera fades to the backstage area where we see Ian Wolfe walking along a corridor. Near the end he encounters the leader of the Flock: Raven. After a brief stare down they speak.*
IW: “What the hell do you want? You want to gloat? Because I am really not in the mood right now oh dark lord of the sith.”
RV: “My misguided friend, despite your glowing folly in Michigan, I have no desire to revel in victory, nor discuss such matters in any way. What I do wish is for you to be content with your station in life, and the current state of your being is nothing like it could be. Not as long as your acquaintances consist of those misguided miscreants. Come with me and I’ll set you free.”
IW: *looks stunned* “Uhh, how about no, Scott?” *Wolfe looks directly into the camera and does the Dr. Evil pinky before continuing on down the hall.*
*Elsewhere backstage, Nathan Hellstorm is standing by in the interview pit with John Imbriani.*
JI: “Basically, you just wanted a couple of minutes to comment on…”
NH: “Stuff it Johnny. Gimme that mic. As a member of the core roster of the BPCW, I just wanted to say that I am thoroughly embarrassed by the performance of a certain co-worker during the cross-promotional pay per view, Genesis. I think you all know who I am talking about. He is our so-called “Leader of the New School”, Sex Fiend. Now, I know you are all as embarrassed by his performance as I am.” *boos rain down on Hellstorm but as he continues to berate Sex Fiend, the man himself shows up in the distance behind Hellstorm in typical fashion and listens as he is continually berated moving slowly closer…* “I also have to say that if I were given the opportunity to face off with that chump stain Vinnie Vincent, I would have surely put him down, just like I’d put down that fraud quicker than white on rice, like stink on shit, like…”
SF: *chimes in* “…christ on a crutch?”
*Nathan jumps, startled before getting half of his face punched in by a non-chalant assault from Sex Fiend. The two brawl back and forth and have to be separated from one another by officials, but not before their yelling and shouting back and forth resulting in what appears to be an audible confirmation of their desire for a match!*
*The camera cuts from one brawl to another as we see Spice squaring off with Essa Rios’ interpreter in the Women’s Locker room, both women scantily clad! The action spills all around the locker room past other women getting their gear on and eventually spills in and out of the shower area dousing both women and sending the fans into a feeding frenzy. They continue to bludgeon each other with anything within reach with Spice actually grabbing the shower nozzle and attempting to wrap it around the Interpreter’s neck to choke her. As they spill out of the showers they are near the door to the locker room and the Interpreter regains her wits and gains the upper hand throwing Spice through it and into the hallway where the Playboys are sitting around watching the situation unfold hooting and whistling at the buxom brawlers. Just then Essa Rios sprints down the hallway from one direction and Frat Boy from the other as the Playboys finally get sick and enter their Locker room across the hall.*
*The two enemies continue to run at one another and leap in the air. At that point, using camera tricks stolen directly from Hollywood, the angle rotates around them Matrix style and you see a little smiling C.E.O. Wheeler in the corner of the screen pop up and say “you saw it here first.” The miny magnate disappears leaving the two superstars on the ground winded and their women breaking from their fight to attend to their fallen men. Spice is attending to Frat Boy as the Interpreter begins to yell at her uncontrollably in Spanish obviously enraged. She leaps on Spice and the boys finally get to their feet after regaining their wind and are able to fight for almost another whole minute before the officials can get over to their location from the previous brawl and attempt to put a stop to this one. Frat Boy gets free once and gets a couple of cheap shots in but they are finally separated.*
*The camera cuts and we are sent to yet another location which appears to be the gorilla pit where an eager C.E.O. Wheeler and RetirO are discussing things in anticipation of the announcements of the 13 lucky finalists right after a commercial break!*
*A short commercial airs for Tough Enough documenting the selection process. After the original 25 semifinalists were selected and were beginning to be whittled down, C.E.O. Wheeler, in a Puffy-esque move makes the decision that even narrowed down to 13, the crop is not good enough. CEO: “If the show is to be truly successful, we need to have people who are devoted to this.” So after auditioning hundreds more possible contestants from across the nation, they took the 13 finalist from the last time, and a new batch of 13 and have now whittled it down to 15. The screen flashes pictures of all 25 and then we head back to a live feed of the arena with C.E.O. Wheeler, Randall Turco, and RetirO in the ring. The Corporate theme is playing and the crowd is screaming in anticipation.*
CEO: “So after the long wait, and with no further adieu, I give you, the first ever cast of BPCW Tough Enough!” *he hands the microphone over to RetirO who begins to introduce the cast.*
RO: “It is my honor to introduce to you the fifteen contestants from which we will award two BPCW contracts… first, from…” *he goes through each name individually, while clips and details go up with them…(open e-mail of contestants)…* “here they are! The first ever V-fed cast of Tough Enough!”
*The crowd bursts out in cheers for this milestone in sports entertainment as the contestants are overwhelmed with their positive response. They wave to the fans for a couple more minutes before making their way up the ramp and into the backstage area. The camera’s follow them backstage and they all profusely thank Wheeler, Turco, and RetirO for the opportunity to compete for the chance to go to the dance. After this little mutual admiration society breaks up, the contestants are brought backstage to be introduced by Turco as Wheeler and RetirO walk off in another direction apparently embroiled in preparatory conversation for the launch of this new program.*
*Another BPCW: The Music commercial airs highlighting new tracks and new stars and the fans respond generously once again. We come back from commercial to see Ian Wolfe knocking on the C.E.O.’s door. After a couple of seconds, it opens and he is greeted Wheeler and RetirO (who appears to be readying to leave).*
CEO: “Come on in Ian, we were just wrapping up here.” *RetirO and the C.E.O. exchange pleasantries and the former leaves as Ian takes a seat.* “Now, what can I do for you?”
IW: “Well, it has been brought to my attention, by the other members of my stable that I don’t pull my weight around the BPCW, so I’m here to prove them wrong… by asking for a shot at Mark Bickler’s Great Lakes Title!” *the crowd ooh’s and there is a quick cut to the Playboys sitting next to a monitor in their locker room and appear outraged.* “You see, they seem to think I’m the pussy since I cost our *does finger quotations* fearless leader his little face off with The Flock last month.”
CEO: “Well, I would say that would make for some pretty good television. Why don’t we ask the fans? *turns to the camera* What do you think? Should we give Wolfe a chance to prove himself? *the fans seem to agree as obnoxiously loud cheering is piped in. The camera cuts to the Playboys who are booing and making quieting gestures.* Well, *extends hand and shakes* it appears as though we have a Great Lakes Title shot added to the card.”
*Another cut to the back reveals the Playboys, extremely pissed at the announcement. We cut back to the C.E.O.’s room where we see a smiling Ian Wolfe staring directly into the camera.*
IW: “Who’s the pussy now boys?”
*After a quick cut to the back, with Bickler and Seitz staring at each other pointing, they get angry looks on their faces…*
MB: “Man, I ain’t no pussy!”
JS: “Yeah! I ain’t no pussy neither!”
*The crowd laughs hysterically at this throwback remark, but are quickly silenced as we cut to another location backstage where we see the crumpled form of RetirO lying on the ground, but before we can get a good look music comes over the loudspeaker and out come Icon 2000 with a huge grin on his face. There is a cut to the backstage where RetirO and now a medic are seen. Rictor explodes onto the scene.*
RT: “What the hell happened here?”
*The medic explains that he just found him like he is and didn’t know, but is quickly interrupted by the familiar sound of Icon 2000’s voice.*
I2K: “Rictor, Rictor, Rictor, *in mocking tone* what happened here? *gets an angry scowl on his face and gets serious* You know damn well what happened. I’ve been trying to get a rematch, but you just won’t give it to me. Now, I thought to myself, why wouldn’t he give me a rematch? Is it because he knows that he got away on me getting cheated, not once, but twice! If the refs in this federation weren’t so old and blind, I would have said it was stupidity. No, this is a simple case of discrimination; discrimination against greatness. It could be that you’re all simply angry at your worthless station in life, or maybe the fact that you will never wear championship gold around your waist, but that’s besides the point. Now, I know not everyone sees eye to eye with me. The fans, my peers, the internet, they all seem to come up a little short. Now that could be that I’m head and foot above the rest, but that’s besides the point. *boos* The fact of the matter is that I made the Midwest Title; not, Rictor and the Icon, just the Icon. And I can tell you right now that as long as I am kept away from the World Heavyweight title, there is no way that the title has been made yet, and without me, it never will. My point is that despite your discrimination I’m going to win the Heavyweight Title…not for you ungrateful fans, not for the federation, not for a spot in the annals of history, no. I’m going to win that title… for me.”
*At that point, as it has been the fashion for this free-for-all, another brawl erupts as Rictor can take no more and without even waiting for his music to hit, he rushes down the ramp and begins to wail on Icon 2000. The two fight back and forth until dragged apart by a cadre of referees and officials. Rictor manages to call for a microphone, and speaks.*
RT: “You want to make this title? You want to make this title, you sick son of a bitch? Well then lets make it just like WE made the Midwest Title… with Ladders!”
*Before I2K can grab a mic, Rictor has broken free of his group of peacekeepers and again attacked him. He gains upper hand, knocking his enemy out of the ring and then posing with his title on the turnbuckle. A seething Icon 2000 backs up a ramp holding his head and makes a couple of faux motions towards the ring, but decides against it when he hears the fans cheer the moves. We fade to black and are left with the image of Rictor shouting, perched on the top turnbuckle.*
END SHOW
===========================================
BPCW November 2 Remember 2002 Card
Intergender Tag Team Match
Essa Rios/The Interpreter vs. Frat Boy/Spice
BPCW Great Lakes Title Match
Ian Wolfe vs. "Big Daddy" Mark Bickler (c)
Leader of the New School Challenge
Nathan Hellstorm vs. Sex Fiend
BPCW Tag Team Title Match
The Big Show/Billy Gunn w/Paul Heyman vs. The Big Red Machine (c)
Special Challenge Match
Steven Black vs. Brock Lesnar
Japanese Death Match
Sex Pistol vs. Raven
BPCW Heavyweight Championship Match
Icon 2000 vs. Rictor (c)
posted by James at
7:10 PM
